a list*

the bohos chilling at a pond this past weekend

I feel like I've been resisting a blog post lately because I have been at a loss for words. So rather than come to this space with a perfectly dreamed up concept for a post, I am just here. As I am. Wordless and giving myself permission to be.

Its not normal for me to feel unable to put my daily experiences or thoughts or feelings into words. I think it might be exhaustion. Boho Boy and I are both dealing with it, for different reasons, right now.

How about I make a list of some of what is transpiring in our life these days. A list feels so much less intimidating to my brain that is unable to flow at the moment.

  • Every day we talk about our move to Washington in June.
  • We've realized that living where we have has been both depressing and oppressive for our souls. Admitting that was really difficult but also freeing.
  • I think my body responds to forest more than ocean.
  • I always thought it was the ocean.
  • But lately I keep dreaming of forests.
  • Forests smell delicious and are cool and crisp and nurturing and you can walk in it.
  • Forests remind me of faeries and gnomes and hobbits. Those are my people.
  • I think Cedar is one of those people too.
  • We found a duck pond not too far away from our home (see above).
  • Cedar is now totally in love with ducks.
  • Someone dropped a pet duck off at this pond. We saw the empty box and the duck wanted no part of the pond.
  • He kept following Cedar and would snuggle up to me.
  • This duck didn't know he was a duck. Cedar got attached.
  • A family that was also there with a sweet boy decided to take the duck home.  It looked miserable and they were concerned.
  • This family had land and was going to load up on all things duck on the way home.
  • Cedar cried when they drove away with the duck.
  • It was the saddest moment ever.
  • The other day, while watching videos of Cedar on the laptop, the one with him and the duck following him around came on.
  • Cedar immediately sat down where he was, cried, shook his head "no" and put his hands over his eyes.
  • I held him for about 10 minutes while he cried.
  • He remembered the duck from a week back. It both shocked me and melted my heart to the floor.
  • Now we have to get him a duck when we move to Washington. ; )
  • I was sick with a flu for a week last week.  When I got better, Boho Boy got sick.
  • Now that Boho Boy is better, Cedar is going through a massive growth/brain spurt.
  • So much so that he hasn't wanted to sleep.  He LOVES to sleep but lately his zest for life has been far too abundant for that.
  • Mama and daddy are tired.  Today mama needs a cocktail.  But instead I drink water in a wine glass and pretend it is a martini.
  • Boho Boy just called me and said he is bringing home Indian food.  Seriously?  He read my mind.  I didn't feel like cooking.
  • Now I am a tired and HAPPY mama.
  • I get jealous of my husband's garlic naan bread because it isn't gluten free.
  • So I heat up a brown rice tortilla with Earth Balance butter and sprinkle it with garlic salt.
  • Almost as good.  I think.  I guess I wouldn't know but I can pretend.
  • Perhaps I am drawn to lists right now because I LOVE these pretty little arrows Jo created.  ; )